Wow, I haven’t talked fitness for AGES.
Not gonna lie but I haven’t ran since 3rd October. I’m actually disgusted that I haven’t made the effort and my body confidence has suffered massively too.
You see, I suffer from an anxiety disorder and at the moment I’m finding it extremely difficult to leave the house alone. I can make trips to the shops with my husband or one of my kids but alone is a no-go. A lot of people don’t seem to understand. I mean, even I don’t understand.
Just the thought of it makes my insides squirm and that familiar pumping heart and throat restriction returns. I’ve been in contact with my doctor and they have given my some great support and advice and I have made a few little changes with regards to my medication. This means I’m expecting to be able to make a trip out alone shortly.
Will I ever run a marathon?
I’m DYING to go for a run. Following a few running groups on social media, I’ve been in awe of the achievements of others and would love to be able to get on that buzz and feel those emotions too. I think when I started running I always wanted the ultimate goal to be running a marathon. Well, that was until I saw that people do Ultra marathons and the likes as well.
As I started running a little over 12 months ago, we are approaching the anniversary of my first ever 10k run. It was a celebration and I had plans in place to train harder, run faster and enter more races and events and run further. This never happened and even though I managed to continue running a few times a week. The pushing myself never really got to push.
I joined the gym, I quit the gym, several times over in fact. I went running with Alfie 4 times a week for 2 weeks and then took a few weeks off. I’m constantly battling shin splints and stretching issues as I got lazy a few times and worked too hard on the times I did get out. The bitter cycle is endless.
It’s funny really as I recently wrote a post on five amazing reasons to run and this was such an honest post for me. The way it makes me feel, the freedom, the feeling of fitness and elation afterwards. I miss it.
Today I managed to get up without a struggle, leave the house (with people) and I’ve edited a lot of photos. I’ve managed to stay on track with my plans for the week and realise what I want to get out of blogging, what I want to focus on and who I want to share my inspiration with.
I’ve managed to get 3 weeks worth of Instagram content sorted, for TWO accounts. And I’m happily writing my way through October’s remaining blog posts ready to begin on Novembers. I’m hoping, and that’s a MASSIVE hoping, that I’ll be able to kick start my love of running again this week. I mean I love in the most beautiful scenic countryside it would be stupid to keep missing out on it wouldn’t it.
And one day, maybe, I’ll be able to run a marathon.
I’d be interested to know how mental health affects your runs or fitness?
– Emma –
Please leave me a comment with your thoughts, opinions or questions.
I’d really appreciate the feedback.
If there is anything you would like me to write about please feel free to email me!