It’s super weird isn’t it, people usually dread the big three zero. Or decide to mark the ocassion by getting ridiculously drunk and desperately trying to cling on to their youth.
Well I have to say it, I cannot wait to turn thirty. Not so much because of the age thing, but mostly because for me, that marks the end of my twenties and to be fair, I’m glad to get them behind me and to start the rest of my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had an okay decade, ups and downs and lots of things in between but now I have a plan and I’m ready to get cracking.
It’s only now in my late twenties that I’ve finally started to work out who I am, what I want out of life and who I want to spend my precious time with going forwards.
Back when I left school I was still a self conscious teen, ready to please everyone and doing what I thought would make me more likeable and fit in with my peers. These days I know I probably tried and cared far too much and really shouldn’t have wasted so much time on people that are so irrelevant to me today.
It’s always hard to look back on things and I still feel like even in my twenties I was a shadow of who I want to be. In my own little bubble, unaware of the world around me and letting people get away with far too much and still nowhere nearer to discovering myself and who I want to be in the world.
A lot has happened in the last few years that have changed my outlook on life completely. I’ve moved on from those that don’t deserve my time or energy and spent more time enjoying things I want to, spending time with those I care about and moulding myself into the person I’d like to be for the rest of my life.
I’d like to think I’m almost there. Whilst I’m thinking about it all, I wanted to share some of the things I’m really proud of over the last decade or so, and why I’m happy that they have happened and helped me to become the person I am today.
I moved to the other side of the country.
Just before my eighteenth birthday I decided I’d had enough of living in Essex. I packed up my belongings into a cardboard box and moved up north to stay with my dad. Fast forward 12 years and I’ve never looked back. I love living in the north west and would never consider moving back down south again. As much as I miss my few important friends, that’s the beauty of the internet these days. I never miss a thing, not really.
I’ve had two beautiful children.
Well, these two are just awesome. Yes, they are buggers, aren’t all kids? But they are mine. They have their own personalities, they take after my husband and I in their own ways and I couldn’t imagine life without them. Back when I was a teen I wasn’t a fan of kids. Honestly, I never planned to be a parent or had any urge to have children whatsoever so it’s a miracle I’ve managed to keep two of them alive for so long.
I got married to my best friend.
Having started our relationship not long after my eighteenth birthday and falling pregnant very early on in the relationship, we’ve had many ups and downs and made it through them all. We’ve been married since 15th September 2012 and have been best friends for as long as I can remember. My husband’s the only person that I can talk to about my problems, he understands my mental illness and supports me as much as he can. He’s always been there for me when I’ve had a breakdown, a bad day or wake up in a mood.
I’ve made some amazing new friends.
I have made some incredible friends over the past decade. Some I’ve lost along the way and some have been my friend since we were like five but those that are closest to me now are here to stay. Who needs a girl gang, or a massive hoard of mates when you only need one or two that you can truly count on. The kind of friends who you can be yourself around, without judgement. Talk to about anything you need to and those that are always there for you when things go wrong.
Stopped smoking after thirteen years.
This was a HUGE achievement and still is to be fair. Obviously we all know the circumstances around this and it’s true. Sometimes it takes a massive fright to make you realise some things are just not worth it. Smoking being very much that thing. Nothing says stop like a surprise heart attack hey.
Started running and never looked back.
I’ve found a huge love for running, it started a couple of years ago and I’ve continued from there. The freedom, the thinking time and the sense of achievement when hitting a new goal or target. Nothing quite helps me with my mental health as much as getting out, running, moving and feeling that fresh air on my face.
I started a blog five years ago.
Not this blog, but I started blogging almost five years ago now and I’m still in love with sharing my thoughts as much as I was when I started. So much so, I’m even starting an English Literature degree because my love of writing and reading began way back in infant school and I’m rediscovering something I can get lost in for hours.
Of course, there is still plenty for me to be working on over the coming years and by no means is my life complete. I’d like to think that I’ll always have something to chase after, or worry about, or even work towards. I mean, if you don’t have that, what makes you rush to get up in the morning when you’ve forgotten to snooze your alarm and running late. Surely it’s gotta be something worth rushing for right?
I’d like to focus more on spending time with those I care about, doing more for charity and participating in some more running challenges. To be more comfortable with myself and creating content for my blog. Also being able to develop and find a personal style that I’m happy with.
– Emma Allen –
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